Sunday, May 27, 2012

reality sucks

I went to my mom's this weekend and I had a tote of stuff.  It was all of my baby stuff.  I realized I can't have children.  I have known this long time now but I was hoping. When I saw my baby blanket it hit me.  I don't have physical ability to raise a child.  I am scared to hold a baby without hurting it.  I know it is  possible to adopt but I don't know the agency that would let me.I need to get a24 hour nanny.  it would be expensive.  I couldn't do it because my work I want to be in it doesn't pay well.  that is okay.  I decided to give my stuff to mybaby nephew .  that way it can stays in my family.  It makes me angry because I know I would be a great mom to a child.  It sucks
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4 comments:

  1. MasonMay 29, 2012 at 6:52 AM

    I'm sure if you want something badly enough you'll do whatever it takes to get it. If you would like to try for adoption I think you should. Good luck with everything!

    http://disabledguy.ca

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  2. Pat MartinMay 29, 2012 at 9:46 PM

    Jennifer, you have heard "can't" connected to your dreams more often than anyone I know. Nevertheless, you have always found a way to reach your goals.
    I hear your disappointment and I hardly know what to say to comfort you. And, yet, I don't want to just answer you with silence either.
    What I do know is that by triumphing over a likely future in a nursing home, getting an education, and building your independent life, you keep moving closer to that future you yearn for.
    Your indomitable spirit and wonderful mind makes you one of the most beautiful and interesting people I know. Who knows what the future will bring?
    Being a mother isn't just about giving birth physically. There is so much more...and what does it mean to be a mother when your children don't need you very much anymore? What do you do with those impulses when your child is 20, 30 or 40 years old?
    I found this article online that may help you look at the power you DO have to make a difference and be there for a child or a friend. I am thinking especially of your activism on behalf of people who experience disability and how that affects children you may never meet, but for whom you are giving your all. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126674397

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  3. Larry WelkowitzJune 11, 2012 at 7:47 AM

    Someone once told me that "the journey is more important than the destination." And I think that's true.
    -L

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  4. UnknownJanuary 15, 2013 at 2:46 AM

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